Jerry: I gotta get on that Internet. I'm late on everything. Jerry: Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For. Elaine: You know, just admitting that another man is attractive doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual. George: Doesn't help.
Kramer: Boxers! How do you wear these things? Look at that–they’re bagging up, they’re rising in, and there’s nothing holding me in place. Mr. Ross: It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children. George: Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do. Jerry: You don’t really *have* any black friends. Outside of us you don’t really have any white friends either. Jerry: I do not like the bank. I've heard the expression 'Laughing all the way to the bank'. I have never seen anyone actually doing it. Jerry: People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. , Elaine: You know, it's not fair people are seated first-come-first-served. It should be based on who's hungriest. There are some that are taken from his stand-ups. Jerry: So he just shaves his head for no reason? George: That's like using a wheelchair for the fun of it.
Newman: Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel, Friday has a feel, Sunday has a feel. George: I’m a great quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. I was raised to give up. Jerry: So, what do you do down there all day? Kramer: TCB. Taking Care of Business? George: Do women know about shrinkage? Newman: Vile weed. Kramer: Man's Best Friend... Jerry, I want something like that on my tombstone. George: I don't have a spare set. All my keys say 'do not duplicate'. George: Pity’s very underrated. I like it, its good. George: Well I, uh, I’m not sure how you pronounce it or anything, but I, uh, I believe it’s ménage à trois. Jerry: Broccoli? Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli even if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce.
Morty Seinfeld: How could you spend $200 on a tip calculator. George: I can't be blind, Jerry. The blind are courageous. George: If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all. Jerry: They always remember the first time. George: I don't want to be remembered. I want to be forgotten. Jerry: Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex. Kramer: El Paso. I spent a month there, one night. Newman: I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes: they're meaningless. Jerry: Let me just finish my coffee, and then we'll go watch them cut the fat bastard up. George: That’s why I’m different. I can sense the slightest human suffering. Jerry: Are you sensing anything right now.
Jerry: Do you really want a shower radio? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. Jerry: Not a very long trip. Mr. Peterman: None other than Ethel Kennedy. A woman whose triumph in the face of tragedy is exceeded only by her proclivity to procreate. Jerry: I like the button fly. That is one place on my wardrobe I do not need sharp interlocking metal teeth. It's a mink trap down there. Jerry: There's very little advice in men's magazines. Women want to learn. Men think 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked. George : I am down. I am totally down. Mark me down.
